I’m finally letting go…
In the name of meaningful content and real conversations, I’m doing it…I’m bringing back…
the BLOG!
This feels so good. To be able to write my thoughts without a character limit, or worrying that the Instagram gods won’t like what I have to say! The FREEDOM!
So…let’s begin…
“They’re not stuck…
…they’re just consistent in a direction that isn’t working.”
Wow.
These amazing words came from The Bearded Plantaholic…one of the good things I’ve found on social media. And these words really resonated with me. I’ve been yearning for a slower life, I’ve been dreaming of a life that looks different to the one I’m currently living. I want to feel different on a daily basis. But I’m stuck in a cycle of feeling drained and tired, finding the negative so easy to see, and getting pulled deeper into it.
And maybe I’m not actually stuck.
Maybe I’ve just been consistent in a direction that’s not working for me anymore.
The thing is, I know who I am underneath all of that. I’m someone who finds joy easily, who notices the beauty in simple things, who goes after what she wants. But for years (honestly, most of my life) I’ve felt a bit lost. Unsure of who I really am.
Looking back, a lot of that makes sense now. Undiagnosed ADHD played its part. And now, the added chaos of 40-something hormones has entered the chat and is, quite frankly, kicking my arse!
But let me take you back a few weeks when I felt something insde me shift.
Me and my little family visited Cornwall to celebrate Evelyn’s 10th birthday. I knew I needed to get away from the normal grind and sometimes a new place gives you new perspective. We stayed in the loveliest cabin and it gave me something I didn’t realise I was craving so much: space. As we sat in the hot tub while watching Blue Tits and Nuthatches play in the trees (I’m still missing the hot tub and now dreaming of getting one installed in our next house!) it gave me clarity.
I don’t just want to experience that kind of slowness every once in a while…I want to LIVE like that. I want mornings where I can sit and enjoy my first cup of coffee instead of rushing through it before work. I want to notice the birds. I want to doodle, to walk, to breathe deeply without feeling like I should be doing something more “productive.”
This isn’t new information to me, not really. But something about that weekend made it feel undeniable. Because maybe I don’t need a completely different life. Maybe I just need to start living this one…in a different direction.
So I’m starting to let some things go - the things that just don’t fit anymore, to make space for the things I DO want:
Social media. In the words of Tigger…TTFN, ta ta for now! I’m so sick of the constant fight with the algorithm. I know some of my small biz friends are going to tell me I need to stick with it and see it as part of my creative business. But it takes over my thoughts far too much, keeps me from being present with my family, and I just don’t want to do it anymore. It doesn’t FEEL nice anymore. I miss the old Instagram where I would see what my friends were up to. I’d have real conversations. I would take a beautiful photo and post it as a reminder to that moment in time, not for likes and follows. Ah…the good ol’ days!
Live illustration. I know…I can hear you gasping! Do I love it? Yes. Is it for me right now? No. I want my weekends to be full of National Trust visits, cafe pancakes over a pot of tea, and garden picnics with my son. I want to make the most of him while he’s young and I want us to have adventures, however small, every day. So I’m pivoting my illustration work towards creating bespoke illustrated wedding stationery: something I’m super passionate about, I can take my time over, and get caught up in all the details.
The final thing I’m letting go of is…limiting beliefs. I’m far too critical of myself. Even my friends will say, “wow, Claire. You’re so mean to yourself.” And they’re not wrong. I think it’s a protection thing - if I put myself down first, it will take away the opportunity for someone else. But all this is doing is making me feel bad, and keeping me small. Keeping me stuck because I don’t fully believe I can do incredible things. While simultaneously KNOWING I was meant for great things! Quite the paradox. So, harsh words are out…family, you need to keep me in check. And instead, I’m going to talk to myself the way I’d talk to my best friend.
So here I am, choosing a new direction. One small, intentional step at a time. Letting go of social media, limiting beliefs, and even live illustration isn’t about loss. It’s about realignment. It’s about no longer being consistent in habits that drain me, distract me, or keep me playing small. Instead, I’m choosing to be consistent in what does work for me. For me, that’s slowness, being present, and noticing the beauty I’ve been rushing past. Because I see it now: I was never truly stuck. I was just moving, faithfully and repeatedly, in the wrong direction. And the good news? I can choose a different one.
